Helping each other cope
When faced with the passing of someone you love, it is natural to feel overwhelmed with emotion. While you may find yourself preoccupied or focused inward, it’s important to recognize that children need support more than ever during this time. They might feel confused, scared, or alone, and they look to adults for comfort and understanding. A child’s presence can be an uplifting reminder of the people who continue to bring beauty and meaning to one’s life.
Grief in Children
A child’s reaction to the loss of someone who played a significant role in their life will differ according to their age and maturity. The support you provide should be tailored to their developmental stage. To help you communicate with children during this difficult time, we’ve outlined some guidance below.
Infants and Toddlers
Although infants and toddlers will not fully comprehend the situation, they can still feel the impact of a loss through disruptions in their routine and the emotional distress they observe in their parents and others around them. At this tender age, little ones can be comforted through cuddling and holding, which fosters a sense of security and love.
Younger Children
Younger children may struggle to understand the reality and permanence of death. Although using euphemisms like ‘Grandpa has gone away’ or ‘he is sleeping’ might seem comforting, these phrases can actually cause confusion. It’s essential to be honest and use straightforward, clear language that they can comprehend.
Older Children
Older children are generally more capable of grasping the concept of death. It’s crucial to create plenty of opportunities for open dialogue, giving them space to share their emotions of sorrow and loss. When they ask questions, offer clear and accurate answers to help them process their feelings and come to terms with the reality of loss.
Teenagers
Due to their growing independence, teenagers often try to keep their feelings of grief to themselves. Find moments when you can gently bring up the topic of loss, allowing them the space to open up. Listen to their concerns with empathy and understanding, and reassure them that you are there to support them as they cope.
Although you may feel that shielding your child from your grief is the best approach, many parents have discovered that being open about their feelings is more beneficial. This transparency helps children see that grieving is natural and normal. Creating an environment that encourages talking about the deceased, particularly their positive attributes, can foster healthy healing.
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