A Guide to Proper Etiquette
When someone we care about passes away, our first instinct is to offer encouragement, help, and support to the bereaved—yet we may be unsure of what is appropriate to say or do.
Camino del Sol is here to guide you through these moments. We’ve provided clear and compassionate advice on proper etiquette for dealing with a loss, including essential dos and don’ts for attending services.
With our guidance, you’ll feel more confident and prepared, ensuring your presence is a source of solace and respect.
What to say
It can be difficult to know what to say to a family who has lost a loved one. To express your sympathies, begin by offering your sincere condolences and then share a cherished memory of the deceased. Briefly reminiscing about the joy the person brought into your life will help comfort the bereaved. For example, you might say, "I was so sorry to hear of Mary’s passing. She was such a wonderful friend to me."
What not to say
Certain remarks, even if well-intended, can be perceived as insensitive. Comments that encourage someone to move on or suggest that you understand what they are going through are better left unsaid. It is also best to wait for the family to discuss the cause of death if they choose to do so.
What to wear
Although the dress code for visitations and services is less formal than in the past, you should choose conservative attire that shows respect to the departed and to the family. It is always recommended to avoid wearing bold, worn-out, or flashy clothing that could detract from the solemnity of the gathering.
Keep the line moving
Visitations can be very emotional, especially when speaking with the family of the deceased. The receiving line is not the place for lengthy discussions or long stories. Be sure to keep your conversation short so that you don’t hold up the line and keep other guests waiting. The family will often be more available to speak following the conclusion of the service.
Arriving
When attending a funeral service, make an effort to be on time and enter the facility as quietly as possible. Remember that the first few rows of seats are typically reserved for immediate family and close friends. If ushers are not present, extended relatives and acquaintances should seat themselves in the middle rows or towards the rear.
Mobile phone use
Smart phones should be turned off or silenced completely during the service. Keep in mind that checking your phone may be distracting to those paying their respects. If you must return a message or take a call, exit the service quietly.
Children
Allowing a child to attend a memorial or funeral service can help them say goodbye to a friend or loved one. It is important to not force a child to go, but instead encourage them to share in this tribute with the rest of the family. Before attending, help prepare them by explaining what they might see at the service.
Showing Support
There are numerous ways to extend support beyond attending the funeral. Sending flowers or contributing to a memorial fund is a classic gesture that can comfort those in mourning. Practical help is also appreciated during times of loss. Assisting with childcare, preparing meals, caring for pets, and helping with household chores or running errands can significantly ease the burden of the bereaved.
GET IN TOUCH
We are available 24/7, 365 days a year.
If you need our services immediately, please call us.