“I want my funeral to feel more like a party.”
“I don’t want anything overly heavy or somber.”
“Just keep it simple and let people share stories and laugh.”
These are the kinds of things you might hear from someone who prefers something other than a traditional funeral. When wishes like these are shared without a lot of detail, family members may be left wondering how to honor their loved one while still creating space to remember and come together.
Thinking about what made the person unique—their sense of humor, how they spent their free time, their values, and the impact they had on others—can all shape a final send-off that feels true to who they were.
With the help of a funeral home, families can arrange a gathering that feels more relaxed, interactive, or even unexpected, while still giving relatives and friends a chance to say goodbye.
The following are ideas for honoring a loved one who didn’t want a traditional funeral. Most can be adapted whether cremation or burial is chosen, and they can even be included in a pre-planned funeral arrangement.
Thinking Outside the Traditional Service
Let’s start with a few suggestions for a final send-off that looks and feels noticeably different from a conventional visitation or service.
Plan a Tribute Video Premiere
Produce a longer-form video that tells your loved one’s story through photographs, videos, music, and short recorded messages from relatives and friends.
Screen it in the funeral home’s chapel with seating arranged to feel like an actual premiere. You can hand out admission tickets and serve popcorn in red-and-white striped boxes or movie-style candy for the full effect.
The video can serve as the main part of the service, with one or two speakers offering opening and closing remarks. This type of farewell works especially well for a memorial held a little later, allowing more time to complete the production.
Set Up a Walk-Through “Life Gallery”
Turn the visitation room into a museum-style gallery of their life, with stations displaying personal memorabilia that guests can walk through at their own pace.
Include a timeline of photographs alongside belongings connected to hobbies or interests, such as golf clubs, books, tools, or musical instruments. Add any signature pieces they wore—a ball cap, necklace, or coat—with short notes explaining the stories behind them. For example: “Joe’s shoes, which he insisted on wearing every single day despite the holes in the bottom.”
Other stations can play their most-watched movie, footage of their beloved team winning a championship, or home-video clips. Include paintings, crafts, travel souvenirs, or anything that reveals another part of their life.
Family members can sit or stand nearby to receive condolences and reminisce, more like an open house than a formal receiving line.
Host a Storytelling Conversation
Invite those gathered to share stories and memories. A relative or close friend can lead the discussion and keep it moving. Asking someone ahead of time to speak first can break the ice so others feel comfortable joining in.
The event could even have a podcast-style feel, with a host asking about the loved one’s childhood, accomplishments, and quirks. Anyone in the room can chime in whenever something comes to mind.
Such celebrations are ideal for small to mid-sized groups and a host with experience speaking in front of others. With the right mix of personalities, the tribute becomes warm, lighthearted, and one of a kind.
Simple Touches That Soften the Feel
A service doesn’t need to be completely unconventional to feel less structured and more personal. The ideas below go beyond familiar photo displays and memorial videos while still fitting naturally into a traditional visitation, memorial service, or funeral.
Atmosphere
A few thoughtful choices can make the setting feel more laid-back and reflective of the person being remembered.
- Replace funeral music with a playlist featuring songs from different eras of their life or tracks they listened to most often.
- In the obituary or invitation, ask guests to wear your loved one’s favorite color or clothing that represents the sports team they loved to cheer for.
- If they weren’t one to dress up, ask that everyone come in casual clothing.
- Display favorite quotes, expressions, jokes, or sayings around the room.
Encourage Guest Participation
As part of the celebration, invite guests to express how much the person meant to them.
- Place pens and cards on seats with prompts that read things like “I’ll always remember…” or “They made me laugh when…” Collect the messages, and, if it feels appropriate, a few may be read aloud.
- Display a map of meaningful places—restaurants, vacation spots, parks, hometowns—and invite everyone to mark locations where they shared time together.
- Design an interactive remembrance wall where memories can be written on cards and added to the display. Later, the cards can be kept in a keepsake box for the family.
- Other options include decorating memory stones, contributing a scrapbook page, or jotting down a piece of advice they once shared.
Good Deeds
A thoughtful act of service can give family and friends an opportunity to make a positive difference in your loved one’s name.
- Ask those gathered to write kindness cards or assemble small care packages for a hospital or nursing home.
- Request that canned goods, pet supplies, or school supplies be brought in to support a cause.
- Provide cards with simple acts of kindness—buying someone a cup of coffee, checking in on a neighbor, or leaving an encouraging note—and ask each person to choose one to carry out in their memory.
Keepsakes and Small Treats
A familiar snack or small item connected to your loved one gives guests something personal to enjoy or take home with them.
- Offer their go-to snacks or treats, perhaps individually wrapped candy, cookies, or mints.
- Place a meaningful object on each chair, such as a seed packet for a gardener or a tee for a golfer.
- Fill a basket with personalized bookmarks, a photograph, a poem, or recipe.
- Hand out a long stemmed-rose or carnation as a symbol of remembrance.
A Farewell That Feels Like Them
When someone you love says, “Keep it simple,” “Just share stories and laugh,” or “I don’t want a traditional service,” they may not leave behind a detailed plan, but they do offer a sense of direction.
At Camino del Sol, we help families turn that direction into a tribute that feels personal and true—whether through a video premiere, a walk-through of memorabilia, a conversation filled with stories, or a few carefully chosen touches. The goal is simple: a farewell that brings the people who loved and cared about them together and leaves everyone thinking, “That was so them.”
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Questions to Consider When Planning a Loved One’s Farewell
- What stories do family and friends tell about them most often?
- What values or beliefs guided their life?
- What places, people, traditions, or routines mattered most to them?
- What would they want guests to remember about them?
- Would they have preferred something casual, uplifting, humorous, or reflective?
- What kind of setting would have made them feel comfortable?
- What music, flowers, colors, or other touches would reflect their personality?
- Would they have preferred a smaller gathering or a larger group?
- Would storytelling feel more appropriate than speeches?
- Should family members and friends be invited to participate?
- Are there cultural, religious, or family traditions that should still be included?
Suggested Items to Gather for a Funeral, Visitation, Celebration of Life, or Memorial Service:
Photographs and Videos
- Childhood, school, wedding, family, and vacation photographs
- Candid pictures that show their personality
- Photo albums or framed portraits
- Home videos or short video clips
Personal Belongings
- A signature hat, article of clothing, scarf, jewelry, or pair of shoes
- A pair of glasses, a watch, or a bottle of their perfume or cologne
- Favorite book or magazine
- Handwritten notes, letters, cards, or journals
- Awards, certificates, medals, or military memorabilia
- Something that reflects a memorable routine such as a coffee mug, crossword puzzle, or deck of cards
Hobbies and Interests
- A golf club, fishing gear, gardening tools, or a pickleball paddle
- Art supplies, paintings, crafts, or handmade pieces
- Musical instruments, records, or concert memorabilia
- Items connected to their career or trade
- Collections, such as coins, figurines, model cars, or postcards
- Cookbooks or recipe cards
Places and Experiences
- Travel souvenirs, maps, or postcards
- Items connected to a hometown, school, or community group
- Memorabilia from a sports team, club, church, or organization
- Tickets, programs, or keepsakes from events
