The eulogy is often the most memorable part of a funeral or memorial service.
Typically, a eulogy emphasizes the defining characteristics of the person who passed away, focusing on what made them special and why they will be missed.
Being asked to deliver this time-honored tradition means that you had a close relationship with the deceased and are viewed as a trusted person who can compassionately pay tribute to their memory.
But being tasked with this responsibility can seem overwhelming at what is already a difficult time.
I am here to assure you that with some thoughtful planning you can give a heartfelt eulogy that acknowledges the importance of a life well lived and reminds survivors of the legacy left behind.
Read on to learn how to write a eulogy.
Laying the Framework
As a general guideline, a eulogy should last approximately four to seven minutes, but take no longer than 10 minutes.
The tone of the eulogy should be conversational while the style needs to suit the personality of the person it is about.
Keep in mind that the eulogy doesn’t have to be entirely somber as long as it is respectful.
In fact, depending on the circumstances surrounding the death, you may want to give a lighter eulogy and interject some gentle humor.
If you sit down to write the eulogy and find yourself unsure where to start, consider making a list of qualities that describe the deceased, and think about how each one can be illustrated.
Drafting and Delivering the Eulogy
Drafting a eulogy can be tricky. You will need to determine not only what you plan to say, but how to organize it into a format with a beginning, middle, and end.
Below you will find an easy-to-follow format you can use as a guide for how to prepare a eulogy.
Introductions
You will want to begin the eulogy by introducing yourself and thanking everyone for attending the service.
There will likely be guests in the audience who have never met you so take a moment to explain what your relationship was to the person who passed away.
Life’s Journey, Stories, and Reflections
Once you have connected with those in attendance, provide a brief chronological account of the individual’s life beginning with their childhood.
This is the appropriate time to highlight milestones and major life events along with any personal and professional achievements.
You can then transition and talk about the deceased’s attributes, values, and character.
One of the best ways to personalize a eulogy is to tell a story or two. This will help to draw in the audience and to maintain their attention.
Consider adding in a few favorite memories and discussing how the deceased affected your own life in a positive way.
And to provide a deeper insight into the individual’s life, you can discuss their relationship with family and friends.
Concluding Remarks
As you bring the eulogy to a close, offer words of comfort along with an expression of gratitude for the loved one.
Including the reading of a poem, song lyrics or bible verse is always a nice touch.
End the eulogy with a heartfelt farewell to your loved one.
Do’s and Don’ts of Giving A Eulogy
Here is a short list of do’s and don’ts to keep in mind as you prepare the eulogy.
- Do write out the eulogy verbatim and have someone read over it
- Do practice delivering your eulogy
- Do arrive early and adjust to your surroundings
- Do keep a glass of water by your side in case your throat gets dry
- Don’t make the eulogy about yourself – write it for the audience
- Don’t be afraid of showing emotion
- Don’t put undue pressure on yourself
A Few Words of Encouragement
Helping others say goodbye can be a healing and rewarding experience.
The best advice I can give on how to write a eulogy is to speak from the heart and try not to worry about making mistakes.
If there is one thing I can promise, it is that your audience will be sympathetic, understanding and grateful.
Eulogy Examples and Quotes
Here are some examples and quotes that can be used in a eulogy:
- Example of Opening Line: “Today, as we gather here, we celebrate the life of [Name], a remarkable individual whose presence enriched our lives in countless ways.”
- Example of Closing Line: “As we bid farewell to [Name], let us carry forward their spirit in our hearts, remembering the love, wisdom, and joy they brought into our lives.”
- Inspirational Quote: “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
- Quote Reflecting on Life: “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
- Quote for a Humorous Tone: “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
Tips for Presenting the Eulogy
Make your eulogy as effective as possible by following these tips.
Rehearse Your Lines
Rehearsing the eulogy is crucial. It helps in smoothing out difficult parts, timing your speech, and becoming comfortable with the content. Practice helps in managing emotions and ensures that you can deliver the eulogy with confidence and clarity.
Wear Appropriate Clothing
Select clothing that is respectful and appropriate for the occasion. Consider the nature of the service, the expectations of the family, and the cultural norms. Your attire should reflect the solemnity and significance of the event.
Stand Up When Delivering
Standing while delivering the eulogy allows for better voice projection and engagement with the audience. Familiarize yourself with the space where you’ll be speaking, and if possible, practice standing at the podium or the place from where you’ll deliver the eulogy.
It’s Okay to Be Emotional
Emotions are a natural part of delivering a eulogy. It’s okay to show your feelings, as this can be a powerful and authentic part of your tribute. However, try to maintain composure to ensure your message is clearly conveyed.
Use a Conversational Tone
Use a conversational tone, as if you are speaking to friends. This makes your speech more relatable and genuine, allowing the essence of your relationship with the deceased to shine through.
Try to Memorize
While memorizing the entire eulogy isn’t necessary, knowing the key points helps in delivering a speech that feels natural and heartfelt. This approach allows you to maintain eye contact and engage more effectively with the audience.
Speak Naturally, Not Word for Word
Focus on conveying the essence of your message rather than sticking rigidly to a script. This approach allows for a more genuine and heartfelt delivery, which resonates more with the audience.
Use Deep Breathing Exercises
Deep breathing exercises can be a powerful tool to calm nerves before speaking. It helps in steadying your nerves and focusing your mind, allowing you to deliver the eulogy with clarity and composure.
Make Eye Contact
Making eye contact with the audience creates a connection, making your speech more engaging and personal. It helps in conveying sincerity and allows the audience to feel more involved in the tribute.
Don’t Rush
Take your time to speak slowly and clearly. Rushing through the eulogy can make it difficult for the audience to absorb the information. A slower pace adds gravitas and allows for better comprehension.
